Hello everyone, and welcome to my very first post. I want my page to be a site where people can find some kind of help or comfort in knowing that you are not alone.
So many times I wonder if what I go through or think is only happening to me. Guess what? 99% of the time is not. As one friend told me so accurately:
“Many times situations are like cars. You don’t realize how many have the exact same one until you buy one.”
I became a mom on June 2019. All the clichés are completely true. The love you feel for this tiny human. The immediate desire to make sure nothing bad ever happens to them. The intense and overwhelming sense of happiness.
She was delivered via C-section which was definitely not what I had in mind. I had to stay for three nights at the hospital which meant spending Father’s Day at the hospital, again, another “not in the plan” situation. But hey, that’s the worst that happen, right? At the end of the day my baby was happy and I was home with her and her dad. Life was pretty great.
Long story short...
Six weeks after my Alice was born, I became a single mom. Not only did her father left when we both needed him the most, but fifteen hours later I found out he was dating a woman who I had caught him talking behind my back in April when I was seven months pregnant. The same woman he had told me “not to worry about”.
Suddenly NOTHING at all was how it was supposed to happen. I was married. Alice was planned. I had a husband. He was supposed to be there when Alice woke up in the middle of the night. He was supposed to be there for her first steps, her first words. Alice was supposed to grow up with mom and dad next to her. What was going to happen now?
It is in moments like these when it seems like it all fails that even though; it is extremely hard to find the silver lining that is the only way to push through. I gave him three days of my life. For three days I cried for him, wondered what I did wrong, wondered how could I have loved someone as much as I loved him for him to just pick up and leave, for him to break our vows so easily. Three days and I DECIDED to look at the good in the situation.
My family was my support system. My daughter my daily engine and energy. When I had no desire to get out of bed, she was the reason I did. Her smile made me eat. Her laugh made me laugh. Her hugs made me realize that she was too much for her father, and that he didn’t deserve her.
All of this to tell you:
When life hands you lemons, making lemonade sometimes stinks! But if you don’t feel like making lemonade, use those lemons for a tequila shot, or a margarita or to add sugar and make yourself a face scrub! (not really but you know what I mean!). At the end of the day, there is always someone who has it worse than you. Personally, I kept thinking on the many women who had to do this ALONE! Even though I felt alone I was NEVER alone. Not one night did I go to bed alone: my sisters and mom were there for me 24/7. Not once did my daughter needed her (as I call him) sperm donor, she had my dad, brother and brother-in-law taking her to doctor’s appointments, to the park, on strolls, playing with her.
My point is: In this life we all get what we deserve. We all seek for what we think we deserve. There will be many times in life when it all seems like it’s too unfair. Keep in mind, struggles make us stronger. Problems help us appreciate the times of peace and quiet more. Hard times show us that something better is on its way, and I don’t know about you, but the idea of knowing that the best days have not arrived yet, is pretty exciting! The best is always yet to come, my friend. Whatever you are going through, remember that there is always a light at the end of the tunnel, that the night gets darker right before sunrise, and all of those, just like the becoming-a-mom-clichés, are true.
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